Moving To A Bigger House T-Shirts

'If you're going to play with the elephant, please take her upstairs.'

Let's get organized

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Doing the borders.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

Lazy Octopus

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Yardless: Please help

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'He does lack social skills.'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

Taking it easy

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Directions: Call a smart friend.