Moving House Muse T-Shirts

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

New Swiss Army Knife

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

Wallpapering with Nails

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."