Moving House Muse Pillows

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

New Swiss Army Knife

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Wallpapering with Nails

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"