Movie Mix-up Master T-Shirts

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'okay...where did you hide it?'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

Photobooth Photobomb

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"I think we both know who did it...."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

"If that's my mom tell her I'm at recess."

"My dad ate my homework."

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

DIY expert.

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Doggie Bowl Drill