Motoring Enthusiast Gifts

'Well, for starters, I think it's about time for an alignment job.'

NOT 2B

'I'm sorry, I didn't hear your siren.' 'How could you, you were passing through the sound barrier.'

Parking - instructions

It's very quick and looks great in speed camera photos.

'Brakes! I said brakes ,Miss Medley. Unfortunately we don't have an anchor.'

C'mon, don't drive so close in front of me!

"Why do they do that?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I need to tinkle."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Dog Park

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Under pressure.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Useless add-ons.

Motor Tourism

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Deflator mouse

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'