Motivational Magic T-Shirts

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Team Leader

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Graduation day at Telekinesis School.

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

AI

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'But what do you sell?'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'Remember,Riley-as soon as you clear your desk you may leave early.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Keep Calm and Cover Your Ass

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'