Motherboard Musings Gifts

Computer Psychiatrist.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Around here it got a little tricky...

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

Daimler, ChryslerSturm and Drang meeting

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"I'm totally prepared for this meeting. In fact I spent the entire morning working on my 'it's not my fault' face."

The Coordination Committee meets. . .

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

'Well, the Brain Trust had no answers. Call in the Blame Trust!'

"Once again, nobody's happy A true whine-whine situation."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

Company take-over bid

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"All power to the board of directors!"

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

'Well, it looks like the 'yea' has it.'

'And if none of those work, it brings us to Plan Z...'

Business Ventures – Acquiring Minds Want To Know.

"As an efficiency expert I can with great certainty point to one inescapable fact. You guys aren't."