Mother-to-be Moments Pillows

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"So! When's the big day?"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"The test results show that your baby is healthy, and that she already wants the new iPhone."

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"Mum, we had sex-education at school today: is that really what happened to Daddy?!"

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

Please take a number.

"Six down, three to go!!"

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'