Mother-daughter Dynamics Gifts

Daughter/psychiatrist

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Relationship Warning Lights

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Children's Party

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'