Mortgage Maestro Gifts

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

Home Owners.

'Kids?' - 'Mortgage owner.'

'Oh, that reminds me...any word from the bank on our application for a mortgage re-fi?'

"We often have parents acting as guarantors..."

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

News - Man's mortgage is covered by endowment policy.

'I'm not moving to this area - it's full of miserable estate agents.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Profit

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

U.S. Credit Rating

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"