Mortgage-free Dreamers Gifts

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Life-Work Balance.

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

Ed listens to one too many relaxation CDs...

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"Sometimes, time travel isn't such a good idea."

'I see a bright future, a transformation: Beauty, wings, elegance...'

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

Department of Work and No Pension

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

Neptune: the retirement years.

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

Bob retired from the cloning lab, and now he doesn't know what to do with himself.

A sunny afternoon at the old politician's home.

The Adventures of Recession Man! M'lady, you seem distressed. I haven't had a raise in two years. My bills keep going up but my income has stagnated. Fear not. I can save the day. You can get me a raise? I can help you see things differently. We'll talk it out, then I'll give you a back rub, and you'll feel your anger dissolve into sweet kisses. Typical! some man fashions himself a superhero who can sweet me up in his arms and dismiss all my problems. Whoa, this economy's a powerful nemesis. It'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'...You're retired, I'm retired.'

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

'I need a bigger nest egg.'

Later in life he moved to Florida and retired to what is now known as Frankenstein's Condo.

"It used to be called pensions."

"Most men brag about their fancy cars, but...you paid off all your student loans...wow!"

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

'I got the raise!'

Get rich slowly schemes - insert $1. Get rich quick schemes - insert $250,000.

'Looks like our social security check came in, as well as a bill for your student loan.'