Mortar Mixologist T-Shirts

Bricks 'n' mortar

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Steak Ted?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

We'll have Manhattans...

Join me in a Martini?

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Shaken not stirred

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

Margarita

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Baloneystini

The Martini is invented.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

You're the olive in my martini

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'The first cocktail.'