Mortality Musers T-Shirts

"Well, finally! Gracefully aging no more."

"With proper flossing your restoration will last forever. My assistant will show you how."

Death leaves a 'Back Later' note on the door.

'Jack gets all the privileges of being dead, without the bother.'

Ignitas

Chiller Theatre

The Evolution Of Man.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

Insomnia.

'Hello, my name is Death'

'Sweet dreams buddy!'

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

Go Now, Pay Later/Pay Now, Go Later!

"Give a call when you get there."

'You'd look good in that.'

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

Old man watering Death.

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

Jesus the comedian.

"You took your time!"

"I'm not afraid of being alone. I just need someone around to discover my corpse because I can't afford a housekeeper."

"You're gonna love this place."

"Here I am, Mother, gainfully and meaningfully employed, and all you can do is criticize."

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"...and tell him it's fairly urgent."

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

The Last Meeting.

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.