Mortality Muse T-Shirts

"You're gonna love this place."

"Like you never made a mistake."

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

"It has come to my attention that life is short and truly uncertain."

"Come in six, your numbers up!"

"...and tell him it's fairly urgent."

Old man watering Death.

Grim Reaper: Day In - Day Out

"So, I can pencil you in for next Tuesday?"

"That's the setup. And the punchline is: 'And then they die!'"

"I want my tombstone to say 'unoccupied'."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

Nun Binning the Devil

"They're very time-sensitive."

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

Apocalliptical

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"Objection over-ruled Counselor! Proceed to the clearly marked Fire Exit, if you follow my meaning."

"What if you go under before I need to?"

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

Grim Reaper Checkout

'You'd look good in that.'

"Give a call when you get there."

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

"Quit whimpering."

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

Puppet holding cross at Vampire Puppet

"Let me quote a few home truths to you."

Death selfie

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

"With proper flossing your restoration will last forever. My assistant will show you how."