Morbid Humor Connoisseur T-Shirts

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Vlad the Impala

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"He's a guard dog."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

'Take me to you lieder.'

Knickerless Cage.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"How was prom?"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'It's clear that we need Haitian refugees in America to do jobs Americans aren't willing to do... Like voting Democratic!'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'Can I get a box for this?'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."