Moral Musings Master T-Shirts

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Try thinking about something else."

Nun Binning the Devil

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"I asked you to hang a picture, how much more difficult can you make it?"

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

Questioning

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Career coaching at a yoga studio

"Look kid, you can't blame everything you do on me."

"Quit whimpering."

"Let me quote a few home truths to you."

"Billy's cheating, Susan is lying, Dave, no, that's Gary, no, Bob. Bob's stealing?"

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

Hell's Ethics

Pastor Has Hunting Trophy of Satan

'It wasn't the proverbial cookie jar, Sir. It was just the real cookie jar.'

'Of course I know the difference between right and wrong! Wrong pays better!'

Man with a button on his head.

"The banality of evil."

'Ahhhh...It's such a beautiful morning outside...the sun is shining...the birds are singing....'

''To be or not to be'? -- It's always about you, isn't it?'

"I react mindlessly, therefore I am."

'I admire your spirit, but enlightenment isn't the sort of thing you hustle for.'

"Tonight I'll be performing a monologue about where I like to shop, my hair color, and something my mother did that upset me."