Moonshine Maestro Mugs

A Good Batch.

Balancing two espresso martinis

Shaken not stirred

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Neil Young

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

'There are no search results for Pomeranian on the Foodnetwork.'

Two men discussing thier moustaches

Hellbillies.

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

Revenuers will be shot.

How to wear a false moustache.

Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa? What order would best simulate sincerity? Very bad man.

"I was so happy after winning the Mood Swing World Champs, I did a victory lap of all the known emotions."

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

Self-portraits

"I'm sorry, but so far medical science hasn't come up with a cure for adolescence."

Hipster Ventriloquist Convention

Carols

'You always act like this when you don't get your way.'

Picasso's Blues Period

'You win.'