Moonlighting Maven Gifts

'So THIS, Hartwelder, is how YOU spend your lunch hours?!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Drool Marks

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Man carrying his boss.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

So Far So Good

Career Elevator

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Team Leader

The Euro.

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

"I can't fire him. He has corporate sponsors!"