Moon Mystics Pillows

"The moon used to be a ghostly, unreachable companion in the night sky..."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"You're on mute."

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Free why-fi.”

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Crystal Ball Plug

Seances of the future

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"Here it comes!"

Alien Painting Moon

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

Vision Board: If you're reading this, it's not too late.

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'I'm bored...'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

Skiers

A mountain guru has a sign on his mountain for safe social distancing.

"It's made of cheeeeese."