Mystical Mystics Pillows

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Tiny Visions

Czarcasm

The Witches Discover The Wok

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Wikipedia...

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

God's Phone

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

Witches of Instagram

'Your future looks charming.'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"All the celebrities come here."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"