Monster Gardener T-Shirts

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

Ecological Therapy

Planting Bird Seed.

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

'This lettuce will grow on Mars...by the way, find out if 'red lettuce' is copyrighted.'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

LawnGrazer 3000; The Solar Powered, Remote Controlled Lawnmower

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Football fan

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.