Monitor Maven Gifts

Stop Staring at Me!

Jack of all trades

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Drool Marks

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

Business is off the chart.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

'This is why we can't have nice things... '