Meeting Maven Gifts

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

"Well, Stoddard, I think I've bounced enough ideas off you for one day."

'I'm afraid the meeting will start a little late, the strategic business planning team are lost in the building somewhere.'

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

Meeting Agenda.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"We need an end to short-termism, at least until next week"

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Now will everybody please turn to page 5 of the hidden agenda."

Today we see for ourselves what's in the Pipeline."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"It seems our new computer system is allowing us to implement idiotic ideas ten times faster than we've previously been able to!"

'To begin with, I'd like to apologise for my behavior at our recent meeting!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'We just finished our meeting on raising educational standards. Please call maintenance. Please call maintenance and have them vacuum up all the educational buzzwords left on the carpeting.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'You're probably all wondering who I've promoted to VP of sales!'

"Mrs. Carstairs will read her blog of the last meeting."

Business man to lady: 'I thought the meeting was thorough and complete. I didn't understand a word that was said.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'This is what you're bringing to the table, Wetzel?'

'All those in favor of my idea say... 'I want to keep my job.'

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

'And I'm pleased to report that we were able to reduce our carbon footprint...'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"We do not discuss religion or politics in this office. I feel compelled to add to the list 'American Idol'."

'That's Sam. Most of his best ideas have been stuck in the company pipeline for years!'

'Now remember, he's ambidextrous, he's good at talking out of both sides of his mouth.'

Do 'radical alternatives' to the contract really exist?

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'