Money-motivated Maverick Gifts

'I don't want a piece of the rock. I want money.'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

'Wait a minute....!

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"Wow! Boss! I thought she was a silent partner."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

Three businessmen looking up at the euro wobbling on a tree waiting for it to fall

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

First I asked myself, "Why did I cross the road?" Then I asked, "Why did I hop on that train?" Then It was, "Why did I buy this suit?" And now I'm like, "Why didn't I fire this guy a long time ago?"

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

Boy who has been to the dentist

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

Your credit score is hahahahahahahah.....

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

'Me? I took all the money I made on a book I wrote, on investing conservatively, and blew it, on options on futures.'

Elon Again (Naturally)

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

Deposits Insured By The U.S. Government (which has a $29 Trillion Debt).