Money-minded Meditator Gifts

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"You've been served."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

Financial Eyesight

US Dollar weakens.

"…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmoooooney, heh, heh, …ommmm…"

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

Pollution and money

His investment advisor gave him a new mantra.

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

"I've been meditating as hard as I can and nothing happens."

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

'Yep, I'm alone.'

Virtual reality guru.

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

'I'm thinking of starting a religion. What would be a reasonable initial investment?'

'Pardon the mess. We just moved in.'

'I like green tea. It's the color of money.'

"Wait a minute - Where's the fire escape?"

"Instead of chanting 'Aum' can I keep texting 'Good Morning?'"

Dot Om.

Now there's way over a billion of us. What does confucius say about that?

'In my years of meditation, I've concluded that being a prophet without profit is not the path to nirvana.'

"The big money is in development? Now you tell me?"

"Those little voices in your head, Mr. Dunlevy. . . are they passing on any insider trading tips?"

'Did he actually win a 'Genius Grant' for his study 'Can money buy happiness'?'

Yoga studio: In 234 and Out 234.