Money Matters Comic Pillows

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

Watering Money

'Money isn't making you happy? Okay, I'll raise my rate, and we'll see how that works for you.'

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

'I'm only a millionaires, and there are over 260 billionaires!'

Scott Walker keeps his job.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'Whoever said 'We have nothing to fear but fear itself' ought to have a look at my credit card bill.'

"Experts agree - we need a tax increase."

Oooo, Mr. Private Sector, whoop-dee-doo. It's not like we don't come from the same printer.

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

The Recession Hole.

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"You're my ideal client. A man with a LOT of money, in a LOT of trouble."

EU-budget fight

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"What do you mean, 'money isn't everything'?

Gentleman wanting to know exactly how much he owes his butler

'Behind the Eight Ball'

Plimbco Bank & Trust, old money division.

Dollar sign balloon.

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

'Wow! You weren't exaggerating when you said your company had a high cash burn rate!'

Self Service Loan

"You have a pre-existing condition...your credit score."

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

Dicorce lawyer: 'I can't promise you custody of your money. But I'll make darn sure you get full visitation rights!'

'The 22% tax I understand, but who gets the other 78%?'

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

Computer that runs on money.

'Yes, we offer no-fee checking accounts. For a small fee.'

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor

'We rejected your application for a loan, my friend.'