Money Gap Navigator T-Shirts

'It looks like your pension gap is finally catching up with us!'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

Kritik's Korner

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"Elon Musk just earned more than I'll ever earn in my whole life in the time it took me to say Elon Musk."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

Low standard of living

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

"Is this it? Are we going to spend the rest of our lives flailing around in the growing gap between rich and poor?"

Lemonade/Prune-aid

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

Homeless / Stately Home Owner. Headline reads; 'Council Tax For Well Off Could Treble!'

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

"You have nothing to complain about....your side is growing too!"

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"