Monasticism Pillows

"I've switched from self-flagellation to a high-fiber diet."

King George I

Trappist Monk Discord

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Trappist talk show.

"I welcome the discussion."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

Amimated illuminated Manuscript

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

Louis XIV

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

Cable Bill.

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

The Queen Mother

'So what did you do with a problem like Maria?'

A friar

Pray as you Go.

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Queen Elizabeth overtakes Victoria as longest reigning monarch on September 9th, 2015

Two friars ringing bells