Monarchist With A Twist Gifts

Not My Coronation Quiche

King George I

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

King completes rubik's cube.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Friend or foe?"

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

The Queen

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Why, this is fit for me!"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'