Mom-to-be Miracle Seeker Gifts

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

Baby on Board

Maternity Hospital

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

'A work in Progress.'

Eat your vegetables

Innie Outie

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

"My favorite painting? That's like asking who's my favorite child. It's Michael."

"Juding by your expression, your mom made kale for dinner."

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

"A stranger is about to come into your life!"

"Pregnant? I just thought I went off my diet!"

"This is my mom's phone. Instead of a hashtag, it has a pound sign."