Mollusc Mentor Pillows

Notice - Salt Kills

Shell Fire

Snail Man

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Small Clams Court

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

When moles dream...

Snail Homes

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

'Dude, the river is flooding! Get out of here as quickly as you can!'

'He's my personal adviser...he's teaching me the air guitar.'

"Bloody caravans..."

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

Society of Mollusc Breeders.

Football Snail

'Wow! She's one gorgeous looking slug!'

"Who, her? She left here weeks ago. . . before you and I even met. She's been on her way home ever since."

'This is no time for a snail's pace.'

Snail with a Box Shell

Why garden slugs don't migrate south for the winter.

Snail Monster Truck

Snail Logic

Abject Snailure

"He's long gone, sheriff - you'll never catch him."