Mollusc Mentor Mugs

Notice - Salt Kills

Shell Fire

Snail Man

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Small Clams Court

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

When moles dream...

'Are you responsible for this?'

Snail Homes

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

'Dude, the river is flooding! Get out of here as quickly as you can!'

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

'He's my personal adviser...he's teaching me the air guitar.'

"Bloody caravans..."

"Who, her? She left here weeks ago. . . before you and I even met. She's been on her way home ever since."

'Wow! She's one gorgeous looking slug!'

Football Snail

Society of Mollusc Breeders.

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

Snail with a Box Shell

Snail Monster Truck

Abject Snailure

Why garden slugs don't migrate south for the winter.

'This is no time for a snail's pace.'

Snail Logic