Molecule Matcher Pillows

Carbon Dating - 'Now let me see, we can do a one night stand with 2 oxygens, a long weekend with 4 hydrogens or a same sex carbon orgy.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

Chemical term for an unpleasant family of maladjusted alkanes.

"What are we doing wrong?"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

HR worker wading through CV's.

Quantum Mechanics Mechanics working on Atoms

Hydrogen nucleus seeks single portion for possible fusion. . . to share conversations on nanoparticle tracking.

"Do they say that pets resemble their owners, or owners resemble pets?"

'I doubled my money! The bank dude gave me 20 50-cent-coins for lousy ten one-euro-coins!'

Lady sees 'Stop' sign above cat at shelter, thinks, 'Well ... I did ask for a sign.'

'I'm flattered you want to share your life with me, but since this is our date, why don't we just trying sharing music files and see how that goes?'

'...well Martha's just converting some alcohol to acetaldehyde and then to acetate, and then to CO2 and water but I can get her to call you later...'

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

Compound Interest

"Ok, Ok, let's go and check: I have my pantone colour chart. We can work out if the grass really is greener on the other side. . ."

'Perhaps one of you gentlemen would mind telling me just what it is outside the window that you find so attractive?'

Pinnochio's Dog.

"I know, isn’t it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?"

A man adjusts his pillow so the stripes match his bedspread.

Bipolar Molecules

"No. You tune to me. I have perfect pitch."

We're number one! Oh, it's those stupid little testosterone molecules again.

'We should return the favor, and find a mate for her.'

"He's cute...and look, he's been wormed."

"I didn't realize it was dress-up Friday already."

'I guess what I'm basically looking for is a man who can pump as much iron as I do.'

"Whadda ya think? I really fancy the cute one."

'We met over the internet.'

'I hope you realize I let you win.'