Molecular Gastronome Gifts

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Before/After

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

In the DNA Kitchen

Crossing the Nachos Grande

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"How's the salmon?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

Happy hour.

"Carpe pizza"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"First you make a roux."

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."