Modernity Buffs Gifts

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Minority Report

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

Drive-thru Church

"Outré or simply bad?"

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

Down With Wikipedia

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"Lemonade App: $1"

'LOL!'

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

Barnett Newman

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

TV Dinners, Now in High Definition.

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'And according to a new poll, baseball and apple pie have now been replaced by facebook and taco bell.'

"Oh honey, I don't know what it means, either."

Ezra Pound

"Hi! I'm on the ship!"

An Uber Car Named Desire

'My former employer gave me a plus score in being merry.'

'Do you think the legal profession is modern and forward-thinking, Sir?'

"Sign of the times, eh?"

"He's a Baumaus student."

"Wow! I can feel the synergy already."