Modern Media Buffs Gifts

'Dad...What's TV?'

"They grow up so fast."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Create some buzz!

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

The Pink Bantha

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Page not found...

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

Newspaper suicide.

Binge Watch

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"I'll never forget you."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Presenter Auditions.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Don't go in there!!"

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

Man selling lamb weekly

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

"Is anything good on?"

A typical Monday. Zombie truck driving maniacs! South Pole penguin love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent, zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"Actually, I work for a newspaper, but people won't talk to me without it."

Silly News.