Modern Toy Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"That internet connected doll you bought...I like the way it talks but kind of hate the way it listens."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"That'll be five bucks."

The Rubber Ball Company

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Rocking Horse

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It's his emotional support animal."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

Childlike love

One!

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

Remote Control Duck

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Help me!

Inaction Figure

Toys

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'...and, of course you get a company car.'