Modern Toy Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"That internet connected doll you bought...I like the way it talks but kind of hate the way it listens."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

The Rubber Ball Company

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Rocking Horse

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

Childlike love

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

Remote Control Duck

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

Inaction Figure

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Help me!

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"