Modern Spirits Friend Gifts

"Heads up, Mr. B. Come February, we make the switch to high-def booze."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Whatever!

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

Dog Teenagers

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"Need help with your computer project? I have 2 teens at home."

'Don't be silly - we've got our heels on.'

"Oh Sarah, You bring out the child in me"

Violin Ghost

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

'He's with a creditor right now. Can I get him to call you back?'

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

Baby Boomers will be 100 before they think they're 50.

Makes me feel young again!

'You look like a lady with a story to tell.'

'Holly, listen to me. This school year is important. . . It's your last year before high school! You have to prepare! High school is a whole new ball game.'

"I don't want to go with you and Master to the dog-park to socialise Mum: I'm in a bad mood!"

'True, money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cognac, fine cigars and the company of beautiful women, and these make me very happy indeed.'

Roller Skating Pensioner

"We're staying home."

Black Russian

"I guess the lowrider show was in town this weekend."

"Don't worry. He's too embarrassed in that sweater my mom knitted to run away."

'Now that I'm old enough to watch these TV shows without parental supervision, they don't interest me.'

'It's a vest for life.'