Modern Skeptics Pillows

"And the prince and princess lived happily ever after."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

Descartes's Demon

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

Creationist president: 'We have to cut the budget, so I'm keeping the astrologer, and letting thge astronomer go.'

Alternative Accountants

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

Ponzi Schemes Inc

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

The Early Bird

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

"Remember when everything used to be so nice and solid?"

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And, lo, the Almighty's Horse, Lucille, bestowed upon the universe a sacred meadow muffin, which got hardened by the sun and became the earth.'