Modern Office Critic T-Shirts

"I miss cubicles."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

'We're very tight on space right now but we'll have you in an office as soon as we can. Meanwhile...'

New open space office design that promotes balance in the workplace.

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

Early Man Late Man

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Daily Routine

Who's In Charge Here?

"All in favor of the old, uncomfortable chairs?"

'Our company hasn't changed much over the years. Most ideas still come from the top.'

"I remember when this was all offices."

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

A worker has 3 trays, and in tray, an out tray and a can we talk about it in the morning? tray

'I call it cubicilism'

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"It's just the boss building consensus."

'We're encouraged to be individuals here - look, there's a menu of three personality types to choose from.'

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

"By golly, if I can make it an enjoyable environment then it's no longer work, it's fun!..."

Employee Shredder.

"You do understand that I can only offer you a zero hour contract?"

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."