Modern Observer Gifts

After hours TV.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Selfie Stick

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

You won't believe what happens in circle 6!! Dante's Inferno updated.

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Maternity Hospital

Waiting Room

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Mice 25¢

"If you want to know why I fired you, you can subscribe to my blog."

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

Old Yarns

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

Blogging Shoes

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"