Modern Novelty Lover Gifts

Damn me! I knew they'd get past those planning laws somehow.

Elfie Stick

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

Some Cricket Novelties.

"We now allow our employees to send their drones in to work for them. It saves them time and money on gas."

Friday night was always sext night.

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

"The beanbag chair, … do we take it out of the furniture budget or the art budget?"

The Painting Channel

Drinking Hats

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Modern Charm

"I'm on the haywain."

"Would you please refrain from texting while I'm operating!"

"Oh my Gosh...I nearly sheeped my pants."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

'You are here' T-shirt,

'It started out as a pup tent, but it ended up as some sort of homage to Frank Gehry.'

"And our charging station, also a period piece. . ."

Computer Add Ons.

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

'I'll be honest it has a few flaws...'

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

Sitting around the warm glow of the TV.

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."