Modern Novelty Lover Gifts

Damn me! I knew they'd get past those planning laws somehow.

Elfie Stick

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

Some Cricket Novelties.

"We now allow our employees to send their drones in to work for them. It saves them time and money on gas."

"I'm on the haywain."

Drinking Hats

"The beanbag chair, … do we take it out of the furniture budget or the art budget?"

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

The Painting Channel

Modern Charm

"Would you please refrain from texting while I'm operating!"

"Oh my Gosh...I nearly sheeped my pants."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

'You are here' T-shirt,

"And our charging station, also a period piece. . ."

'I'll be honest it has a few flaws...'

Computer Add Ons.

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

Sitting around the warm glow of the TV.

'Wow, dude. You're really old school!'

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."