Modern Moaner Pillows

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells sends a text.

Free speech isn't cheap!

"I have an app for that."

The ten ammendments

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

"Complaining empowers us."

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

'I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk, and take out.'

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

"It's Monday."

A Cow Funeral.

'I hate Mondays!'

"The first day back is always the worst."

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

'I hate Mondays!'

'Sure I'd like to have everything but where would I put it?'

Behind the 8 Ball

Freak Show

"Do we know what we're getting ourselves into with spelt?"

Online shoe shine.

"She died peacefully surrounded by her 10,000 followers."

'I got up at 5:30 once and caught a worm -- it wasn't worth it, believe me.'

"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."

Christmas cracker goes 'ping' instead of 'bang'.