Goal Moaner Pillows

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

"We thought we could put in the details later."

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

Bricklayers in goal.

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

Football Thinker

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

Football

'Bu it is Cup Final day, Boss!'

"Complaining empowers us."

'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

'Is there a situation in which you would risk your life for an abstract goal?'

He tried kicking himself after missing the field goal but he missed again!

"You're buggered."

"Ambitions... to be more ambitious in future."

Mohamed Salah

Julen Lopetegui Agote

"Where are you flying to?"

Goal!

Chasing Dreams

So your career objective is to 'swallow the universe.' Why Buddhists don't get jobs.