Goal Moaner Pillows

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

"We thought we could put in the details later."

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

Bricklayers in goal.

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Complaining empowers us."

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

'Bu it is Cup Final day, Boss!'

Football Thinker

Football

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

Goal!

Chasing Dreams

"You're buggered."

'Is there a situation in which you would risk your life for an abstract goal?'

He tried kicking himself after missing the field goal but he missed again!

"Ambitions... to be more ambitious in future."

Julen Lopetegui Agote

"Where are you flying to?"

So your career objective is to 'swallow the universe.' Why Buddhists don't get jobs.

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"