Modern-meets-myth T-Shirts

Hmmm, not sure about these new-fangled clocks...

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Unicorn in the Woods

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Santa Elevator

"All the better to ignore you with."

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

Centaur Sprinter

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

"Ah, sweatpants."

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

'To redeem your wishes, fill out all required fields, including username and password.'

'But she's too ugly to be my duckling. I want a DNA test!'

'Careful Jack - it might be a GM beanstalk!'

'Oh-oh †the Snake's telling Eve about cloning!'

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"Yeah, I'm the Tooth Fairy. But you're gonna have to take a check."

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

"Now that you have eaten from the tree of information technology..."

Astronauts see 'Martian' with fig leaf on face.