Modern Medicine Observer Pillows

"Would you like to try some of our over-the-counter drugs while you wait for your prescription?"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Current location

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

You won't believe what happens in circle 6!! Dante's Inferno updated.

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

"If you want to know why I fired you, you can subscribe to my blog."

Mice 25¢

Maternity Hospital

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence.

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

Old Yarns

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'