Medical World Observer Pillows

"You may know him from his short time in the waiting room, or his recent works 'Prior Authorization' and 'Prescription Refills.' He was named 'A recent missed call' in your phone just last week. Here he is, your doctor!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Fear of news.

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

"She cries when I give it to her, she cries when I take it away."

Middleast Peace

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

'Live together in peace!'

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence.

Man Wrapped In Film

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

New Capitalism

Old Yarns

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

The world on lockdown

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

Blogging Shoes

US troops won't leave Iraq.

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'

"look at those poor suckers. A market correction doesn't mean anything to us."