Modern Medicine Discussant Pillows

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Current location

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

"Are you sure that cutting them up will make him better?"

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'How can I help you? We offer - choice, diversity or competition.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"You're right, Obamacare doesn't cover everything."

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

M.D. Mister Jones is back with his sore throat --- He Googled instead of gargled.

"Supersize me."

An eye doctor tests a patient's eyesight by having him read an eye chart that starts with "Fight Socialized Healthcare...".

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

'Doctor, I will tell you the whole history of my disease.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

"I'm tempted to tell you my joke about homeopathy, but I don't think it works."

"If you could take just one medication, which medication would it be?"

Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches

Destinations

Make him take about 16 of these a day until we feel better about what we're doing to him!

'Don't even tell me it's a wart.'