Modern Gift Hunter T-Shirts

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Football heads...

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

One of a kind.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

The polar bear's vending machine.

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

Toilet Tissue Typist.

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

Hamster Wheel/Hamster Wall of Death.

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

'Yeah, I tried 'Open Sesame' ... then I just went at it with a backhoe.'

'Mozzie Mozzie Mozzie!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!'

Gift shop tea-towel...