Modern Excuse Master Gifts

'What would you say if I told you that we weren't cheating, but merely social networking?'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'A dog ate my homework.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Lame Lines

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Dog ride on dump truck and dispose of homework.

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'It's a long story.'

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !